For instance, many a time I have used arnica to hasten the demise of a bad bruise. ‘Nonsense’ he would no doubt claim. Likewise, half my friends believe in reiki – one is a practitioner of it. I know for sure Ben doesn’t believe in this, as per an entry on his site. The thing is, when his opinion differs from mine, Goldacre will have a valid point, very much backed up by facts.

Take the benefits of organic food, for instance. Last year he wrote against the benefits of organic food, following a couple of negative reports from the Food Standards Agency which caused outrage amongst the organic food producers. Again, you can read his response on his blog. If I’d solely read his article, I’d have been outraged myself; but having heard various supporters of organic produce I was more annoyed at them. Instead of agreeing that there is no definitive way to prove, right now, that organic food is healthier than that reliant on pesticides and insecticides, the producers tried to defend their position without much real evidence.  Had they been more astute, they would simply have emphasised that, surely, the point of organic food is to make things better for Nature. The benefits to humankind come in the long-run, with a healthier planet.

Arguments against genetically modified foods are equally difficult to sustain – although I’m not so sure there is sufficient evidence for or against this technology just yet, no matter what people say. Some advocates of GMOs – here and here, for example – are fairly persuasive, whilst the case against GMOs is not always so cogently presented. It is often along the lines of ‘stop the Frankenstein crops!’ and without any facts to back up such concerns.

Thankfully, the likes of Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth and Avaaz are calling for more scientific trials to prove the technology whilst also campaigning from the angle that the bio-tech industry is very much led by companies eager to exploit the poorer or less-developed nations around the world. Cries from those companies of ‘you’re stopping us from helping the starving’ don’t quite ring true, especially when, as a whole, we are already growing more than enough to feed the global population – it’s just that a disproportionate amount of food is going to waste or to feed livestock so we can eat meat.

So whilst I feel uncomfortable at emotive expressions about Frankenstein crops, I do believe strongly there is a need for better, more open trials concerning GM crops; and more importantly, I don’t want companies like Monsanto walking over the poorer nations, such that their scarce resources are unnecessarily spent on expensive GMOs. That’s why I signed the Avaaz petition calling on the European Union to place a moratorium on the introduction of GM crops into Europe.

If a miracle does occur and those transparent and independent trials take place, I’ll happily go with the results. I am not anti progress; I am not anti technology. Indeed, given the will and the resources I believe most of our current troubles – pollution, disease, climate change  – could be resolved by technology and international co-operation. But I do not put my trust in big corporations or governments will ever willingly sort things out unless there are big profits to be made. That’s why I’m happier to trust my own judgement. Even if it does mean believing in the powers of arnica.

It seems ironic that, when Westerners are at home we love eating exotic foods – Indian food especially in the UK, but Thai becoming ever more popular. On holiday, though – whether in Africa, the Far East or India – we long for fish and chips, steak and chips, pies and lager. Consequently, whilst on holiday, I was finding it difficult to eat at a restaurant offering consistently good quality but reasonably-priced Thai food, with a far-ranging and imaginative menu. The fact I was unable to find a pad thai dish that was better quality than one served in Brighton or London was disappointing, to say the least.

Does pandering to Western tastebuds lead to local people shunning traditional diets and moving over to convenience foods with high fat content, high sugar content and far too much salt?  Myth, or fact? I am pleased to say that in spite of the cars and scooters very much in evidence where I had been staying, Thais are generally continuing to stay a very slim bunch. There are the occasional obese children, but presumably this has always been the way.However, the cars and scooters will become ever more popular (not that the roads can accommodate any more vehicles during a typical working day, with a quite phenomenal stream of traffic across the island), people will exercise less, children in particular will become ever-more complacent about being physcially active.

Western companies will continue to boost their advertising, children again will be the focus of attention and come to see certain brands as the ones to choose – Coca Cola, Pepsi, McDonalds, you know the ones.  And yet, one thing puzzles me. When I went into a store to buy some relatively plain biscuits for my girlfriend, who had developed a stomach upset, all I could find was the widest range of cholocate flavoured / chocolate coated / chocolate filled biscuits, or biscuits with truly weird combinations of flavours. None of them were plain. None of them were made by big western concerns. Bearing in mind the amount of fat and sugar in these products, why are the Thai locals not already all obese?  A World Health Organisation report a few years back blamed the increase in convenience foods (i.e. no need to go home and prepare your own food – just grab something quick and easy….then something else as a treat….then make your ‘proper’ meal once home and eat it whilst sipping on ‘a nice glass of wine’), automation of once-manual work, more sedentary lifestyles (that will be a ‘no’ to gym lessons at school and spending too much time watching TV and sitting in front of a computer screen) along with the spread of motorised transport (commuting to and from work, being shipped to and from school in a parent’s car .

The worrying thing is that the World Health Organisation first predicted this development ten years ago and there still appears to be no co-ordinated effort to combat the spread of obesity. People in developing nations are not going to want to stop purchasing cars, scooters and vans, when that is what they see on their TV screens (as with combating global warming, if everyone in the West already has one, why can’t I?) ; their children are not going to say ‘no’ to a Big Mac or a can of Pepsi; and the young office worker in Bangkok is going to want a Subway and a Starbucks just the same as their equivalent in London.  Until we have stemmed the rise in obesity in countries such as the UK and the USA, we are unlikely to find the solution to stopping it in any other country. And until governments wake up and find the courage needed to kerb the power and influence of big business – both on our TV screens and within governments themselves – and explain to people how, in the long-run, it will be cheaper to tackle the spread of this phenomenon now, rather than when it is too late (Copenhagen, anyone?) we are on to a loser.

Damn you, John Montagu!

‘Pleasingly difficult’ because Bennett generally comes across as, you know, too safe and sensible, almost in spite of his genius at observation and wit. Clearly I should not be at all surprised at any of this, as his personality frequently shows through from the characters he creates in his plays. Equally, I am not at all suggesting that Alan Bennett should get out more and ‘live a bit’ but what I was most certainly surprised at – disappointed, some might suggest – was how, if an activity did not involve churches, art, literature or films from the ’40′s it would, most likely, not grip him.

So, what would Mr Bennett have missed out on? For a start, Filipino cabaret (karaoke-style cover versions of Abba, Tina Turner and the Beach Boys) and he would certainly not have partaken of volley-ball at 3pm on a hot afternoon. Well, no, and neither did I appreciate any of these past-times. What, then, is my point?

As he himself was aware in the late ’90′s, the names of those occupying the old folks’ home were beginning to change  – the implication being, he wasn’t. Either through being too shy to move towards new past-times, or being a bit stuck in his ways, page after page of his diaries appear to be Alan Bennett eating sandwiches outside a country church, sitting outside his home in Camden Town watching the world go by, or sitting on a train travelling over to Venice for a holiday. Again, there is nothing wrong in any of this and if Alan Bennett did live his live differently, would it have made him a better writer? Clearly not. Likewise, I couldn’t even finish reading the diaries of Kenneth Williams, with his life being day and day of drabness and stomach ailments, interspersed with an occasional TV or radio show. My point? I suppose it’s that on reading about someone else’s life, I cannot help but feel that, actually, my own life is not too bad after all. Would I wish to be (or have been) friends with either Alan Bennett or Kenneth Williams? No thanks.

I caught up with a woman – undoubtedly the culprit – perhaps something attached to her handbag, a piece of jewellery…? I walked past her, only to still hear the noise ahead of me.

More speed, I thought, more speed as I aimed to overtake two men ahead of me. As I approached them, I glanced up and down trying to see what was making the infuriating sound. Jingle jangle, jingle jangle. I walked past one man but the noise was still in front. Then, just as I was neck and neck with the second man, we arrived at the tube station. He went towards the Piccadilly line and I took my place for the District and Circle. Never mind, I thought -  I may not have been able to get past that one final person, but at least no more noise.

When I arrived back at Brighton,  I got off the train and headed home. It wasn’t until I was down a particularly quiet lane that I heard a familiar sound. Jingle, jangle. Jingle jangle. Okay, it was me after all. And it was only then that I thought – what was it about that sound that made me so determined to overtake all three people, simply to get away from it? Why not slow down for a minute and let the noise drift away? Why not let it become part of the overall sound of the underground or street?

It really was a case of: calm down, take stock of life, get things into perspective.